A Question I Get Asked Constantly About Moving to a New City for Your Career

Should I Really Move for Work If Everything Else Is Settled?

People ask me this all the time. They have a good job, maybe a partner, some version of a comfortable routine. Then an opportunity somewhere else shows up. The money is better, the role is more interesting, or the city just feels like a better fit for where they want to be in five years. But moving means starting over socially, finding new doctors, learning a new city, maybe even dealing with a higher cost of living.

The question is never really about logistics. It is about whether the disruption is worth it.

My answer is almost always yes, but not for the reason most people think.

The Obvious Calculation Misses the Point

When Jillian and I were deciding whether to move to Phoenix in 2024, we did what everyone does. We made a list. Cost of living, job market, weather, proximity to family, outdoor activities. We compared rent prices and researched neighborhoods. We tallied pros and cons like we were filling out a balance sheet.

That exercise was useful for ruling out bad ideas. But it did not actually tell us whether we should go.

What finally made the decision clear was realizing that staying put was not a neutral option. It felt safe because it was familiar, but familiar is not the same as right. We were both early in our careers, and neither of us had a compelling reason to stay in Colorado beyond the fact that we already lived there. That is not a strategy. It is inertia.

If you are asking the question at all, you already know the answer. The fact that you are considering it means something about your current situation is not working.

What Actually Matters When You Move

The first few months in Phoenix were not smooth. We did not know anyone. We had no go-to coffee shop, no gym routine, no group of friends to call on a Friday night. Everything took longer than it should have because we did not know where anything was.

But that discomfort forced us to be intentional about what we were building. We could not fall back on old routines, so we had to create new ones that actually fit the life we wanted. We tried different neighborhoods, explored hiking trails, tested out restaurants, and made decisions based on what we liked rather than what we were used to.

That process of figuring it out together ended up being one of the best parts of the move. It gave us a shared project and a reason to stay curious about where we were living.

The other thing that surprised me was how quickly Phoenix started to feel normal. It took about six months before I stopped thinking of it as the new place and started thinking of it as home.

That is faster than I expected, and it made me realize how much I had overestimated the cost of starting over.

When Moving Makes Sense

You should move if the opportunity is materially better and you do not have strong roots where you are. That sounds obvious, but most people overweight the roots and underweight the opportunity.

Strong roots are not having a lease or a job you like. Strong roots are aging parents who need you nearby, kids in school, a business you own, or a relationship that cannot move with you. If your main reason for staying is that you know the area and have some friends, that is not enough.

You should also move if you are early in your career. The first few years after college are when you have the most freedom to take risks, and moving to a city with better opportunities in your field is one of the highest-leverage things you can do. You will meet different people, work in different environments, and learn faster than you would if you stayed comfortable.

Finally, you should move if staying feels like settling. If you can picture yourself in the same job, same apartment, same weekend routine five years from now and that picture does not excite you, go.

What I Tell People That Are On The Fence

If you are thinking about moving but keep talking yourself out of it, try this. Imagine you are five years older and still in the same place. You passed on the opportunity because it felt risky or complicated. How do you feel about that decision?

If the answer is relief, stay. If the answer is regret, go.

The other thing I tell people is that the timing will never be perfect. There will always be a reason to wait. Your lease is not up yet. You want to save more money. You are not sure about the job market. You are waiting for your partner to be ready. Those are real considerations, but they are also convenient excuses.

We moved to Phoenix in August, which was not ideal because it is the hottest time of the year. But waiting until October would have meant missing out on the jobs we wanted, so we went. It was hot. We adjusted. It did not matter.

What We Gained

The move gave both of us better roles. I got to work on more interesting projects, and Jillian found a position that combined marketing and event planning in a way her previous job did not. That alone would have made it worth it.

But the bigger gain was less tangible. Moving forced us to be more deliberate about how we spent our time and who we spent it with. It gave us a chance to build something from scratch rather than inheriting someone else's version of what our life should look like.

Phoenix also turned out to be a better fit for us than Colorado in ways we did not anticipate. The weather is more predictable, the outdoor scene is different but just as accessible, and the professional opportunities in both our fields are stronger than we expected.

None of that would have happened if we had stayed because staying felt easier.

The Real Cost of Not Moving

The biggest mistake I see people make is treating a move like a permanent decision. It is not. If it does not work out, you can move again. You can go back. You can try somewhere else. The cost of a bad move is a year or two of your life and some money. The cost of never taking the risk is spending decades wondering what you missed.